i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
