You really coming over, don't trick.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
