Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
