at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I still have a little drunk in my system
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
