you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
