Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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