I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
