i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
