Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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