So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
