There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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