I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
thus making me awesome and them whores
smell my finger.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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