hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
