I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
