I love black thongs
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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