Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm getting married
To pizza
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
