I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
