Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
