in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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