DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
