I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
