Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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