Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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