I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
