For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
