Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
