So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
