My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
