we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
