me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize