Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
