allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
