I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
