Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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