I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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