Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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