Church boner. Awkwardddd
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
