i was rollin on her like bob the builder
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
