You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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