I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
