I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
