So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
