I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
