Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
