I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
