Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
third nipple confirmed
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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