Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
