oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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