you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
