Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
