Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
