I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
